Dating a Nigerian Man;What you should know

Are you a foreigner married to or may be dating a Nigerian man? Are you planning to move back to Nigeria with your newly wedded charming Nigerian husband? If yes, there are some important things you should know beforehand about Nigerian men.

There are a lot of stereotypes on the internet about dating Nigerian men, but like the English proverb: A coin has two sides, all men can’t be bad or all good. Nigerians are everywhere, even in the most unexpected places and with this comes more interracial relationships. While Nigerian’s have different cultures among the tribes there are some traits that run through and through. Sure there are a lot of stereotypes about the good and bad of Nigerian men, you are sure to find some if not most of these characteristics to be true.  So if you’ve found yourself a charming Nigerian man and want to eliminate some of the cultural shocks, here are some things you should know

In this article, I will take you through a guide towards dating or marrying a decent Nigerian man, or isn’t a  decent Nigerian man what you’re looking for or prefer to have?. So how is a decent Nigerian man different from other men around the world?

Men can’t be the same just as you women also aren’t the same. We men might have similar triggers and desires but not the same cultural upbringing, values or expectations.

I am not a relationship counsellor but I am decent Nigerian man, so I know a lot about us. People go into interracial marriages for different reasons and there will always be a cultural shock when two people with different backgrounds come into a relationship.

For you to truly show you love a Nigerian man, you need to embrace his people and cultures.

First, don’t try to change a Nigerian man to suit your standards, while it may seem that you’re winning the race it won’t take long for him to erupt like a volcano, so it’s better for you to learn and try to come to a compromise with his ways. We grew up in families that hold strong cultural ethics, ethics that may take some time for you to understand.

To make things quite easy and lovely for you, I will be explaining the “dos and don’t” in a list so you have less problem dating Nigerian men

---

Respect

---

As in without respect you won’t even crack the door open to a relationship with a Nigerian man. Nigerian culture demands that the man be head of the family, keep in mind that doesn’t mean the woman is his househelp. Quite the opposite they are truly a partnership, a Nigerian proverb says the man is the head, the woman is the neck. Obviously both can’t do without each other.

It doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to vocalize your opinion and let your desires be known however at the end of the day, the man leads. The benefit of this is that most Nigerian men are also success-minded and will make sure the family is provided for. If your Nigerian man is paying household expenses don’t expect him to also do household chores, such as cooking, washing dishes. This doesn’t mean that he won’t help out here and there or cook sometimes, household work is seen as the woman’s responsibilities.

---

Marrying a Nigerian man means you’re also going to marry his family.

---

Not literally, however Nigerian men tend to be close to their parents and siblings, this is even stronger if he is the first born or only male in his family. He will most likely provide financially for his parents or siblings. As a non-Nigerian your family relations may be different or you may have assumptions about how families work, leave those behind. As comparing your family principles to his has no place. You don’t have to agree with the beliefs and traditions of your partner’s family, just respect them.

In Nigeria, not just the man and the woman yoke to become one, the family of both party also becomes one. Also expect the occasional visit from your in-laws, just be nice and respectful they won’t bite.

---

Traditional Cuisines

---

Egusi soup, jollof rice, pounded yam, these are just a few of the many Nigerian traditional dishes. Learning how to cook traditional cuisine will delight your man (even if he knows how to make the dish himself). Cooking for your Nigerian man (men in general) is almost a standard requirement so if you refuse to it’s a big minus. Even though men expect it, they will always appreciate being served like a king.

A European who traveled to Nigeria experienced cultural shock when she visited a Nigerian family. The wife brought the food to the husband, gave him water to wash his hands after eating, and when the husband finished he stood from the table and left his dished behind, the wife then thanked him for eating the food. She couldn’t believe that after all the wife had done, and thanked him for eating that  he didn’t offer to help clean the kitchen or clear his plate. This is common practice in Nigeria.

---

Football

---

A lot of Nigerian men love football, and even if they’re not a big watcher they will certainly join their friends to watch matches as a social outing. If your man is football lover he will not like to be disturbed during the match. Give it a shot, maybe you’ll enjoy watching football also and that’s something you can share with your Nigerian man.

---

Letting out emotions

---

“Men don’t cry” while a psychologist will say it’s a shame that men are taught this, the reality is that in Nigeria, men are expected not to always let out their feelings else he may be regarded as a weakling.

Don’t expect him to kiss you in public, and don’t get angry when he acts funny trying to kiss you back. Kissing in public is still considered weird especially in Nigeria, although the very exposed Nigerian men now see things differently but you can’t blame him probably he has never seen his parents kiss or look at each other affectionately because “those things are just not done for the public eyes” in Nigeria.

At the end of the day, this guide simply comes down to understanding. No matter who he is, Ghanian, Nigerian  or Kenyan, you must be willing to understand and respect your partner. Hopefully, this article helps you avoid or understand some of the hiccups in the relationship with your Nigerian man and don’t forget to like our page on Facebook to follow other interesting stories.